reflections

I'm sitting here on a sunday night alone....go figure....I say I want a man,but when it comes to actually going out and making an effort,i'm just too lazy and tired. Last night was pretty interesting,went to our local bar, met a bunch of guys,saw a woman i hate,had some drunk talk with the 'hot guy from high school', who's not so hot now,was asked out by a guy i'm convinced is gay,danced,got my free drink for being stabbed,ya,another great story...pretty much groundhog day in folsom last night.....I'm still a little bummed about running into the love of my life last week,the guy who broke my heart into a thousand pieces. ..how can one guy still get to me so much? I'm so disappointed in myself,i should've never let myself fall for that 49yr old's game...God that sounds funny,..a 49yr old with game? An oxymoron.....whatever,i was at a weak point in my life..to be honest,when i saw him the other night he looked a little like a woman...As for my weekend in Vegas....it all went awesome,had a great time,feel like 'vegas man', is exactly where i wanted him...now not sure what i really want...does that make me a bitch? I obviously have no idea what i want..........